Rounding my usual reading lists, I found this post.
I keep thinking that I've already read about this before, even seen it. After a few google searches to confirm my thought, alas I was wrong. I was thinking about another drug, Propanolol. I remembered it because I was kinda torn about the issue.
Should you forget the bad memories or should you hold on to it to make you stronger?
The article mentioned about traumatic experiences which can impede a person's day-to-day activities. If I've been in a car accident or a rape victim and it had left me emotionally disabled or something, maybe I can consider taking the drug.
I said I'm torn.. I haven't had any traumatic experience- yet. But I've had pain that just won't stop to the point where I considered stopping the pain -physically (why is it so hard for me to say 'suicide'?)... So if the pill can help me forget the experience, hence the pain, why not take it? But in my case there's no particular experience to forget, it's a collection of bad memories (I think).. So I should target those memories and forget? (sounds a bit like "Paycheck")
Then again, I believe we are all but the sum of our experiences. It makes us who we are. So why erase a memory?
I am not making any sense and if I'm trying to convince myself, it's not working...
Friday, March 26, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
The Church and its Affairs
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
The Pope issued an "apology" for all the abuse their priests have done. "Truly Sorry" that's the caption MSNBC used. Really?? It's been happening for decades in most parts of the Catholic world and only now do they apologize?
Friday, February 26, 2010
Darkness Visible
Darkness Visible by William Styron
I just finished reading the book I bought more than a year ago. I started writing about it, then stopped -for some reason that I can't remember now.
The book is about the author's struggle with depression. When I first started reading it, I was a bit skeptical. I wasn't hoping to connect or understand what he was saying. I didn't think I would, but I did.
Maybe I've had the depression longer than I thought, I really wouldn't know. I've never been clinically diagnosed, until I finally realized something was wrong with me. Early 2003, I had days when I really did not want to get up. I would make up excuses so I could stay in bed all day. I didn't want to go out. My migraine got worse partly because of that, which then made the whole ordeal more unbearable. Then one night while I was watching Sandra Bullock's Yaya Sisterhood (or something), I began crying nonstop. It's supposed to be a comedy but something that was said in that movie made me cry and I couldn't stop. Then I started to try cutting myself. I didn't even realize I was doing it until I felt the blade. Silly cuz I realized I have this aversion to it. I stopped then I thought if I really want to kill myself I'd use pills.
After a few days, I had an appointment with a neurologist for my migraine. He seemed confused with the severity of it, he asked me if I was depressed. I said maybe. With that he gave me an anti-depressant. I couldn't remember the name of the drug because I stopped taking it after two days. I got worse. My lows got really really low to the point where I was thinking of different ways of how to kill myself. So I stopped taking it and started writing. It kinda helped so I continued doing it.
I still have days where for some reason I just feel really really down. When I read about that part in the book, it was kind of an eye-opener. Like, there really are days like that and it's not because of something I did or doing. When he said " the pain of severe depression is unimaginable to those who have not suffered it, and it kills in many instances because its anguish can no longer be borne", I was nodding my head. I've been trying to say that for so long and people would just say that I'm being overly dramatic, that whatever I was feeling I can just make it go away by not thinking about it.
It doesn't work that way. I don't want to feel depressed or sad. I want that feeling to go away because you cannot imagine how hard it is. It's better to feel physical pain than suffer from that. Which is, I think, how my body sometimes handles it. I'd be sick for no apparent reason. Bleeding, severe migraine, abdominal pain ~ all of which the doctors here could not find a reason for. There are physical signs yet all other diagnoses doesn't fit.
All in all, It was an interesting read. It was good to know about someone else's experience. I just hope it gave me an insight on how to deal with mine when the time comes...
I just finished reading the book I bought more than a year ago. I started writing about it, then stopped -for some reason that I can't remember now.
The book is about the author's struggle with depression. When I first started reading it, I was a bit skeptical. I wasn't hoping to connect or understand what he was saying. I didn't think I would, but I did.
Maybe I've had the depression longer than I thought, I really wouldn't know. I've never been clinically diagnosed, until I finally realized something was wrong with me. Early 2003, I had days when I really did not want to get up. I would make up excuses so I could stay in bed all day. I didn't want to go out. My migraine got worse partly because of that, which then made the whole ordeal more unbearable. Then one night while I was watching Sandra Bullock's Yaya Sisterhood (or something), I began crying nonstop. It's supposed to be a comedy but something that was said in that movie made me cry and I couldn't stop. Then I started to try cutting myself. I didn't even realize I was doing it until I felt the blade. Silly cuz I realized I have this aversion to it. I stopped then I thought if I really want to kill myself I'd use pills.
After a few days, I had an appointment with a neurologist for my migraine. He seemed confused with the severity of it, he asked me if I was depressed. I said maybe. With that he gave me an anti-depressant. I couldn't remember the name of the drug because I stopped taking it after two days. I got worse. My lows got really really low to the point where I was thinking of different ways of how to kill myself. So I stopped taking it and started writing. It kinda helped so I continued doing it.
I still have days where for some reason I just feel really really down. When I read about that part in the book, it was kind of an eye-opener. Like, there really are days like that and it's not because of something I did or doing. When he said " the pain of severe depression is unimaginable to those who have not suffered it, and it kills in many instances because its anguish can no longer be borne", I was nodding my head. I've been trying to say that for so long and people would just say that I'm being overly dramatic, that whatever I was feeling I can just make it go away by not thinking about it.
It doesn't work that way. I don't want to feel depressed or sad. I want that feeling to go away because you cannot imagine how hard it is. It's better to feel physical pain than suffer from that. Which is, I think, how my body sometimes handles it. I'd be sick for no apparent reason. Bleeding, severe migraine, abdominal pain ~ all of which the doctors here could not find a reason for. There are physical signs yet all other diagnoses doesn't fit.
All in all, It was an interesting read. It was good to know about someone else's experience. I just hope it gave me an insight on how to deal with mine when the time comes...
Facebook Status
Ever had someone who views your profile or status everyday and thinks that everything is about them?
Damn annoying!!!
Damn annoying!!!
Keith Olbermann
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
Direct to the point, right from the beginning. There's always gonna be people who like to tell everybody else how to live and do their lives. This reminded me of someone who commented of how helping the poor is not really helping and that they should be left to find resources for themselves otherwise they will always wait for help and not fend for themselves. My reaction was quick and only this- If you've never been poor, never been hungry, never been desperate enough to sell even your soul for there is no other way, then you cannot and should not be allowed to say something about it.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
the ghost in your genes
Whether this can be proven to be true or not, the idea is mind blowing! makes you think first every time you do something cuz it would ultimately affect your offsprings and theirs..
Link
From Atheist Media Blog:
Aired in 2005
Biology stands on the brink of a shift in the understanding of inheritance. The discovery of epigenetics – hidden influences upon the genes – could affect every aspect of our lives.
At the heart of this new field is a simple but contentious idea – that genes have a 'memory'. That the lives of your grandparents – the air they breathed, the food they ate, even the things they saw – can directly affect you, decades later, despite your never experiencing these things yourself. And that what you do in your lifetime could in turn affect your grandchildren.
This work is at the forefront of a paradigm shift in scientific thinking. It will change the way the causes of disease are viewed, as well as the importance of lifestyles and family relationships. What people do no longer just affects themselves, but can determine the health of their children and grandchildren in decades to come. "We are," as Marcus Pembrey says, "all guardians of our genome."
Link
From Atheist Media Blog:
Aired in 2005
Biology stands on the brink of a shift in the understanding of inheritance. The discovery of epigenetics – hidden influences upon the genes – could affect every aspect of our lives.
At the heart of this new field is a simple but contentious idea – that genes have a 'memory'. That the lives of your grandparents – the air they breathed, the food they ate, even the things they saw – can directly affect you, decades later, despite your never experiencing these things yourself. And that what you do in your lifetime could in turn affect your grandchildren.
This work is at the forefront of a paradigm shift in scientific thinking. It will change the way the causes of disease are viewed, as well as the importance of lifestyles and family relationships. What people do no longer just affects themselves, but can determine the health of their children and grandchildren in decades to come. "We are," as Marcus Pembrey says, "all guardians of our genome."
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
the lost gospels
I've read about this or watched this somewhere. I just cant seem to remember when or where (as usual). This video has more details and really interesting.
Link
Link
Thursday, August 7, 2008
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